Perry's Secret Files
This is a collection of files that Perry and his staff have uncovered over the last few years, files that for one reason or another the current administration does not want you to know about. Be aware that viewing of these files may make you a target of Homeland Security investigations.
Why Bush's Driving Records Are Sealed:
Young George Bush after an accident with beer truck
The president's legal and military files have been sealed in order to keep the American people from knowing the truth about what kind of man has been leading us for the last four years. What will we discover once that information becomes available? Sources widely report cocaine abuse and desertion from the National Guard. Perhaps he would like to re-up now and take a REAL leadership role in Iraq. After all, we do have a stop-loss policy, right? 
Driving Under the Influence Citation in Maine when Bush was 30 years old:
Bush was not "just a kid"
The president's drinking problem was serious enough for him to receive a DUI citation even in the state where his father was a powerful politician. Supposedly, he stopped drinking for the sake of his wife and children. His alcoholism, however, may have been passed on to at least one of his children, his daughter Jenna who was cited at the age of 19 for MIP (minor in possession of alcohol). Whether or not this alcoholic is currently drinking, he still behaves like one. This would explain his often bizarre behavior.
George Bush - AntiChrist?
Jenna Salutes Her Father As The Anti-Christ
Biblical scholars state there is credible evidence that George W. Bush is the anti-Christ. He is getting ready to throw a real wing-ding to impress the new pope and is even going to the airport to pick him up. No other president has done this before. Is he trying to butter up the saints? Go here to read more about Bush as the Anti-Christ.
Bush Makes Deal With Extra-Terrestrials
George Bush made deal with ETs to assure second election
Bush's confusing 2004 win of the election was aided by extra-terrestrial technology. Seen in this photo, Bush made an agreement with aliens (much like NAFTA) in order to assure his second term. Swift boat commercials, once analyzed by electronics engineers at MIT, were discovered to have been cleverly tagged with brain-altering frequencies which reinforced messages* received during the advertisements. In addition, 114 volunteers in the Florida recount staff were found either to have reported an abduction experience or to have tiny objects embedded in their necks.
*= actually referred to by the President as "subliminable messages"
El Chupagato Spotted Along Texas-Mexico Border
Killer cat attacks livestock and Minutemen
This rare photo of the creature hispanics along the Texas-Mexican border call el chupagato (the cat-sucker) was taken at the outskirts of a ranch near the Rio Grande river. The strange animal, reported to be up to two and a half feet tall, has been spotted in different parts of the region at the same time as incidents of unusual livestock deaths. Due to the cat-like appearance of the tracks, border patrol agents at first believed that a mountain lion was in the area. However, color and markings combined with the lightning speed of the beast has since convinced officers they are dealing with a different, new creature. Mexican legend has it that el chupagato roams the land in search of coyotes, disreputable persons who lead aliens illegally over the border from Mexico, and avenges the cruel deaths they leave in their wake.
Border-guarding Minute Men have reported several sightings of el chupagato and one team of two men stated that the cat-like animal attacked one of them while he was relieving himself near the border. "I just about (pooped) my pants, except they were already down," stated the volunteer guard who wished to remain anonymous. Texas Rangers have put a bounty on the creature in hopes of stopping the human and livestock attacks.
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